New Orders

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The somewhat sorrowful look she gave him was all too much for him to take. Sergei furrowed his brow and all thoughts of the festival disappeared. "Please don't look at me that way, Anya," he whispered. "I can't take it." If he had displeased her, then he'd have to do whatever he could to make up for his shameful ways.

He was only human, only a man in love, and his desire to hold her was too overwhelming to ignore. In fact, all rational thought let his mind as he stepped forward to draw her into his arms. He held her closer and caressed her lower back. With any luck, she wouldn't push him away. She had not rejected his gifts, so there was still a shred of hope.

Trouble was, he did not want the embrace to end. His heart pounded as he realized the embrace was almost too long and he let go of her. He wouldn't apologize, because he was not sorry. Even if he was dismissed from his services altogether, it'd be worth it.

[Princess Anastasia Fyodorov]

Resting her head on his shoulder, Anya gladly drank in the scent of him, feeling her worries dissipate and her tension eased. Her arms slid around his waist, the better to keep him close in turn. If Nikolai or Katya ever discovered this, it would be an unmitigated disaster, but for now, the secret was theirs and theirs alone. Closing her eyes, she said nothing, unwilling to shatter the perfection of the stolen moment. It was purest torment for them both, putting them together this way though Nikolai could not know it; he was mired in his own problems and did not see the feelings each harbored for the other.

Suppressing a sigh, she didn't resist when he released her, slowly raising her eyes to his with a small smile. "That was lovely. Thank you, I... I think I needed that."

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The gentle warmth of her against him and the soft but fresh scent of her hair were drops of water in a desert to him. He may never have the chance to hold her again and so the seconds of the embrace soaked him through to the bone. All tension dissipated; relief was a sad and welcome blanket.

He dared to touch her hair before the hug ended and he looked at her with a wistful expression. "Any time," he said, almost amused with the statement's impossibility. "You need not think poorly of yourself. Everyone thinks you are wonderful." Meaning him, of course.

[Princess Anastasia Fyodorov]

A faint, ironic smile touched her lips, knowing it couldn't be any time. It probably should be more like, never again. Her parents would never consent to such an arrangement, and they both knew it. Perhaps that was the source of Anastasia's tendency to refute her royal birth and blood, preferring to surround herself with the common people. Sergei was noble-born, but even still.... there was few chances for their shared happiness together.

"Not everyone," she protested with a weak laugh. "I am sure that shortly, I will be my brother's and sister's least favorite person." It fell on Anya to remain the voice of reason, to get Nikolai back on good terms with his princess and to remind Katya that if she continued with Prince Tristan, only heartbreak lay ahead.

[Deleted]

He knew full well that he was not of a high enough ranking noble to be of any potential use to the royal house. Sarkozsy needed good alliances and Princess Anastasia was a fine woman and future addition to any house. He just did not want to think about when she married; it hurt his heart too much. "If this is the only moment we have together," he started, almost breathless with daring, "then please, let us be selfish."

He shook his head. "Your siblings will not be mad at you for long. Nikolai appreciates your reason, deep down. I do not know about Princess Katya, but she looks up to you." He was sure that he was not comforting in the least, as he had no idea what to say. After holding her, all rational thought seemed to escape him.

[Princess Anastasia Fyodorov]

The thought of it being the only moment hurt, seared her to her core. Anastasia had persuaded her mother not to enter her into any marital alliances for the foreseeable future; the Tsarina had agreed reluctantly, but with a knowing look her daughter couldn't ignore. Her mother knew far too much for Anya's own good and comfort. She probably knew where Anya's heart lay, and agreed only to give her a chance to resign herself to the inevitable. Princesses of the Fyodorov line didn't marry knights; they married foreign princes and Kings. "I can be extremely selfish, Sergei. Be careful what you wish for."

She frowned at his words regarding her siblings, wishing almost painfully for Demetri. Her brother, closest to her in age and mentality, was a force whom Nikolai truly respected and his words were frequently heeded. "I love my brother, truly I do. I know he will make a fine King of Sarkozsy. Perhaps I should write home and see if my parents will agree to a proposed... alteration. Instead of Nik wedding the Princess, perhaps Katya should be offered to Prince Tristan." It was not something that was going to go over well on either part, but in all honesty, Anya was at a loss.

[Deleted]

One of these days, he had to marry soon. He knew he had to help his family somehow, but with everything happening with the royal family, he had no time to meet anyone else. He'd wait until it was no longer possible to avoid marriage and with any luck, have an heir to satisfy his parents. Not that he wanted to think about that right now. "Then be selfish," he said. "Just for a little while." He was sure he could handle it, no matter what.

Sergei nodded in agreement. He had seen a quiet strength in Nikolai that he knew would translate well into into leadership. He wanted it to work for the Crown Prince. "As my lady wishes." He furrowed his brow and wondered if Nikolai would be able to accept that decision as a matter of course. Chances were, it might damage Nikolai more than he could imagine.

[Princess Anastasia Fyodorov]

"I am being selfish. I am sacrificing everyone but myself." She rubbed wearily at her forehead. "But I am finding I lack wisdom to know how to do this, Sergei. I'm not as skilled a diplomat, a Princess or a sister as I hoped. And I'm watching everything go merrily to hell despite all that's being done to reverse it. Nik..." Anya frowned, aware that she was about to be indiscreet and unfair to her brother. "He deserves to find a bride who wants him, and I want his happiness. Katya... she's already halfway in love with Prince Tristan and he watches her with the same eyes. Do I destroy four lives and force this marriage through?"

Bleak blue eyes rose to him, pleading with him to understand her position, and to offer any possible insight he might have.


@sergei

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He shook his head. "Everyone finds themselves lacking in new situations. I know the feeling, though. I have failed Nikolai." He was not enough of the knight Nikolai needed and that hurt him more than he realized. To a more objective eye, perhaps the solution was clearer.

His loyalty was to Nikolai without question, but calling off the betrothal was dangerous. Sergei also frowned; he wanted to give the woman he loved proper advice -- what was right for the kingdom and the people? Giving any sort of answer felt like betraying Prince Nikolai.

"No," he said after a long moment's pause. "If there is a connection already between Prince Tristan and Princess Katya, Sarkozsy must use that to its advantage." I am sorry, Nikolai. His heart hurt a little. "It will all work out. I promise, Anya." This was the only moment he could use her nickname.

[Princess Anastasia Fyodorov]

"We both have failed him," she agreed quietly. "Perhaps it would be best if you escorted me back to Sarkozsy. I have made only a larger mess of matters in my desire to help." Anya refrained from mentioning her intention to abdicate her title upon arrival, knowing he'd only talk her out of it. More than ever, she was convinced she was no good to her family. Surrendering her place in the line of succession wasn't enough now.

Dropping into a chair, she covered her face and battled back her emotions. "I wish I shared your confidence, Sergei. I am likely to make an enemy of both my siblings over this."

@sergei

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Sergei frowned. He disliked to contradict or refuse his lady's orders, but now he had no choice. "I do not think that is the best course of action. It might be that making a mess is the only way for the situation to change." He had no idea, though, as this was only his opinion and determining how people reacted was difficult.

His eyes softened as he wished he could say something that would comfort her most. "Everyone cannot like you all the time. This course of action -- I cannot imagine they would declare you their enemy for very long. Family is family and I believe yours is closer than most." For some reason, he could never form a close connection with his sister, so Nikolai was like the sibling he never had.

He was a little afraid to touch her again, so he stood next to her and extended his hand, just in case she wanted to take it.

[Princess Anastasia Fyodorov]

Her hand reached and curled around his, needing the comfort of his proximity against her own dark thoughts. "I don't expect everyone to like me all the time, that's unreasonable. But we are speaking of my brother and sister. No matter how this goes, Sergei, one or both of them is going to be unhappy. There is no way this side of hell that my parents will agree to two matches of our House to Demeria... and that will mean all the more that I must make a political match."

A sudden wave of homesickness swamped her, strong and sharp, her head bowing as if to pray for insight or wisdom.

[Deleted]

Sergei squeezed her hand, privately glad he was not in the position where he had to make difficult choices. She was, however, and thus he'd do what he could to aid. "Whatever decision you make, I will assist you in dealing with the consequences," he said. "I will be your buffer with Nikolai, I promise. Logic and rationality will be our friend in the end.

Poor Anya. He tried to think of how the two would react. "Katya might not be pleased if she is engaged without warning," he mused. "What worries me is the potential less than diplomatically answer she'll give, especially to the prince himself. Of course, you know her better than I do."

[Princess Anastasia Fyodorov]

Her fingers laced with his, giving them a soft, firm squeeze. For once, Anya accepted the offer to lean on someone else's strength instead of relying merely on her own. Rare for her to admit she needed it, but she felt completely alone in Demeria. "It might be easier if it was my decision to make. But it isn't. All I can do is suggest, propose and advise. As it is, it seems like lately, all I manage to do is hit Nikolai right in the ego." Which was in no way what she wanted.

"Katya... I don't think she will be surprised. She was raised the same as the rest of us, to know she would make a marriage of state when the time came. But yes, perhaps you are right and it behooves me to speak with her beforehand." Weary blue eyes rose to his then. "It's a pity you and I can't just abandon them all to their own devices and sail off to some abandoned island."


@sergei

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Sergei was beyond happy right now, reveling in the touch of her warm skin against his own. The conversation was more serious, however, and he tried to focus his attention on that. "In a foreign country, all he has is his ego. Please do not judge him too harshly." Although Nikolai might have dismissed him from his services, Sergei wanted what was best for his friend and as a man, he could somewhat relate.

When the time came. He knew the royal family for years and imagining all of them married was strange. They'd each be a different spouse in their own right and with a decent enough person, they could expand their own potential. He didn't want to even consider Princess Anya's future husband -- though the faceless figure popped into his head regardless. Effortlessly charming, wonderful laugh, small nose.

He hesitated in saying anything regarding her last statement for a moment, because he was tempted, oh so tempted, to take her up on that offer. "If you could, would you? And why me?" He needed a tiny hint that his love was not mostly unrequited.

Princess Anastasia Fyodorov